February 2012
“I guess I’m short and fat is what I am. So I’m safe in San...”
– Steve King
Dow 40,000 here we come! →
The ironing is delicious
Judge Orders Florida Man To Take His Wife on a... →
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, a Florida judge ruled on Tuesday that a man involved in a scuffle with his wife treat her to an evening at a local bowling alley and a romantic meal at Red Lobster.
“If our nominee doesn’t pick up a lot of Ron Paul’s ideas,...”
– Jim DeMint
“I think Ron Paul’s views are totally outside the mainstream of virtually...”
– Newt Gingrich
“Right now the best way that I can impact the world is through entertainment. One...”
– The Rock, adding: “But don’t forget: I am G.I. Joe.” This interview rules.
“Go big or go home.”
– Barney Frank’s fiance, on marrying Barney Frank
“His racist thoughts are not welcome in the United States Senate.”
– Dan Inouye, taking a rare break with decorum for a major-league smackdown
Dad drunk when he picked up drunk son, cops say →
“We’re delighted to hear that Rep. Fleming is a regular reader of...”
– The Onion, on a Member of Congress failing to understand satire
“There was a lot riding on that particular race in Nevada and it was interesting,...”
– Donald Trump, on Romney. Note Romney did worse than he did in 2008.
“I was the perfect candidate. I went out there and America had their chance with...”
– Michele Bachmann. Really.
“They make durned fine boots.”
– The guy running for Senate in Texas, on endangered lizards
“I can guarantee you the (Super Bowl) coaches are not telling their players to go...”
– Jim DeMint, helpfully exemplifying what’s wrong with American politics
Milbank: The media ♥ Newt Gingrich →
How do we love you, Newt Gingrich? Let us count the ways.
“I’m not concerned about the very poor.”
– Mitt Romney (the full quote is less funny)
“Osama bin Laden Dead, General Motors Alive.”
– Biden, summing up Obama’s first term
January 2012
“He got everything he wanted from a completely compliant Congress for two of...”
– Mitch McConnell on Obama, apparently without irony
“You’ve heard it from the pundits: ‘Obama is cloistered in the White...”
– Obama, at the Alfalfa Club
State Department drones provoke outrage in Iraq →
Friend of mine: “So it’s not just the military who uses drones. And it’s not just the CIA who uses drones. But it’s now the State Department that uses them. I think it’s time that the Agriculture Department starts using them too to monitor crops of other countries and shoot anybody that doesn’t plant what we want them to plant and also plants things we don’t want them to plant. And the...
“I have 80% of inmates that would vote for you.”
– Duke Cunningham, to Newt Gingrich
“The purpose of the sequester is to force us to act to avoid the sequester. It’s...”
– Carl Levin, waxing philosophical.
Editorial: 'The Mayor Is An Idiot' →
Gingrich Wants U.S. Base on the Moon →
FUCK YES MOON BASE
“I will recover and will return.”
– Gabby Giffords
“@SpeakerBoehner Just read some of your tweets and you seem pretty angry kind...”
– Chad Ochocinco
“It’s one thing to have a Congress that is do-nothing. Another thing is a...”
– Joe Biden
Study: District’s White People Walk More, Faster... →
Neat.
POTUS for your Phone →
Obama for America, with one of the best fundraising pitches ever: “President Obama was inspired to sing a bit of Al Green during a recent campaign stop at the Apollo Theater. And now you can have his rendition of “Let’s Stay Together” as a ringtone”
“If your candidate loses in just one step along this path, as was the case when...”
– Sarah Palin, on panties
“I think for Republicans and conservatives all across this country, a question is...”
– Tim Pawlenty, saying what we’re all thinking
“The banks are scared to death, of course, because they think they’re going...”
– Mitt Romney, feeling the pain of struggling homeowners
“Do you think I’ve ever had an abortion? I don’t play poker on the...”
– Barney Frank, on why he’s for decriminalizing marijuana
“Rome is burning, and we need to appoint the best firemen possible to rush in and...”
– Chuck Norris, mixing metaphors in his endorsement of Gingrich
“We’re not choosing a talk-show host. We’re choosing a leader.”
– Romney, on Gingrich
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/rick-santorum-q... →
Revolving Door: From Top Futures Regulator to Top... →
“Iowa has not yet been decided. The idea that Mitt Romney has won Iowa is still...”
– Santorum, not letting go