May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
symbiosis →
“I’m told that ‘Django Unchained’ is NOT an adaptation of Ron Paul’s newsletters.”
– Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) at the WPCF dinner last night
November 2012
“They are demanding that the Republicans explain all the cuts that they want to...”
– Charles Krauthammer, on how outrageous the President’s demands are
“Last week, The Onion said I was going to become a male stripper. The Onion is...”
– Arne Duncan, mocking Tom Friedman’s suggestion he become Secretary of State
“Is that all?”
– Jim DeMint, informed the President’s salary is only $400,000
“MSNBC invited me, but I said, ‘You’re just like Fox, but not as good...”
– Tom Ricks
“All right, so the guy - remember the ‘pony.’ He’s just doing...”
– Bill O’Reilly, on Gangham Style
“So @TheOnion names Kim Jong-Un 2012’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ - I...”
– @SenJohnMcCain
“One of the advantages to me of not running for office is, I don’t even...”
– Barney Frank
“It really is sort of sad. You get into the routine of seeing certain people all...”
– Rep Peter Welch (D-VT)
“People did think our mom was this cookie cutter mother … she just happens...”
– Jenna Bush
“It was great. We had a lot of doughnuts.”
– Dick Durbin, on the latest Gang of Eight meeting
“In some parts of rural Maine, there were dozens, dozens of black people who came...”
– Maine Republican party chairman Charlie Webster
“Oh s***, I’m in the wrong meeting. Where are the Republicans meeting?”
– Rep.-elect Chris Collins (R-NY), after realizing he’d made the freshman mistake of caucusing with Dems
“I absolutely reject that notion. I don’t think that represents where we...”
– Bobby Jindal
“The Obama campaign was following the old playbook of giving a lot of stuff to...”
– Mitt Romney
“We cannot be, we must not be, the party that simply protects the rich so they...”
– Bobby Jindall
“Look at that size of that pie! Holy moley! Whoa! That is one big pizza, man....”
– Joe Biden, eloquent as ever
“I came back to ask you to help us finish what we started, because this is where...”
– The President, asking one last time for our vote
October 2012
“One thing he’s gonna be asked is, why did he jump on [the hurricane] so quickly...”
– Katrina-era FEMA veteran Michael Brown, on the President’s response to Sandy. Seriously.
“President Obama’s shuck and jive shtick with these Benghazi lies must end.”
– Sarah Palin, not being racist at all
Reid calls himself a ‘one-man wrecking crew’ aimed... →
“General — can I call you ‘General’? … I’m going to...”
– Chris Matthews, to Attorney General Beau Biden
“Well, Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets, because the nature of...”
– The President, finally pushing back on Romney’s stupid smallest Navy since 1918 line
“I really think the booing spooked a lot of guys. A lot of guys hadn’t been booed...”
– An anonymous Yankee player, on how the Yankees are too big of pussies to handle it when the asshole Yankee fans who chanted “Kirby’s dead” at Torri Hunter in 2006 finally turned on the Yankees 