January 2009
Zac: Is it just me or do other people see Sen. Judd Gregg and first read it as Sen. Judge Dredd
Officer reaches into foamy sewage tank to rescue... →
A Kalama police officer reached into a tank of sewage to rescue a dog that had jumped inside. The officer, Jeff Skeie, was able to grab the sinking dog by the ear Tuesday and pull it out by the scruff of its neck. After the rescue, The Longview Daily News reported, the officer took a long shower and the chocolate Labrador had a bath. It was adopted later in the day by a woman who named it Hershey....
Spin
TPM: “Economy Shrank At Fastest Pace In 27 Years In 4Q” Drudge: “Economy Shrinks at 3.8% Pace, Less Than Estimated…”
The Myth of the Eastern Front →
It’s pretty messed up how much some dudes are into the German side of the Second World War. It’s pretty messed up how much some dudes are into the Civil War, too, but that makes a little bit more sense. If your grandfather fought valiantly to keep black people down — I mean, for states’ rights — I can see why you’ld care about what he did. But very few Americans are descendants of Nazis. So why is...
“I don’t care about your procedures.”
– Norm Coleman’s lawyer, to the Minnesota Deputy Secretary of State, regarding why it’s okay to forge signatures on ballots
“In politics, there’s a name for a regional party: it’s called a...”
– Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, on being from Kentucky (not really)
“I am the Speaker of the House. I don’t get into that.”
– House Speaker Pelosi today on Rush Limbaugh’s attacks
“You guys are in politics. You know what we have to do to go out and run...”
– Blago, on breaking the law
Jayme: how do you use keyboard symbols to make a penis again?
me: (_))=====D
add j's for hands jacking off
and ~~~ for semen
Jayme: thank you
me: hahahah
“Being productive in Congress and Washington is often less about quality and more...”
– A little bit of truth from a friend
We Were Only Freshmen
Freshman Sen. Mark Begich (D-AK) has come up with a trick to “avoid the press,” which involves either “cover[ing] up” his member pin with a “sheaf of papers” or just acting “like a staffer” (Roll Call).
Although he’s been able to “find his way to the Senate floor,” Sen. Roland Burris (D-IL) “wandered the hallways” in...
“Calling Rod Blagojevich ‘crazy’ is offensive — to the mentally...”
– Chicago Tribune
0-177
Not a single Republican voted for the Economic Stimulus Package. Dems voted 244-11.
It’s beyond me what they’re thinking on this — if the economy stays the same, they’re not helping themselves; if the economy improves, they’re super fucked; if the economy fails, we’re fucked no matter what they do. In my mind, after all this talk about bipartisanship,...
Rush Limbaugh: 'My Bipartisan Stimulus' →
Rush Limbaugh is taking over the Republican Party. Nothing could be better. “The Obama-Limbaugh Stimulus Plan of 2009: 54% [Obama’s vote total]of the $900 billion — $486 billion — will be spent on infrastructure and pork as defined by Mr. Obama and the Democrats; 46% [McCain’s] — $414 billion — will be directed toward tax cuts, as determined by me.”...
“I don’t know why they’d want the skunk at the garden party. But...”
– John Boener, missing the whole point about bipartisanship and comity after being invited to Obama’s cocktail party.
Obama's White House →
alcaniglia: “Great article describing how Obama runs the White House in terms of dress code, hours, etc. A must read.” This is great stuff. Axelrod says the Oval Office is so hot you can grow orchids. Gibbs got busted with his feet on the desk. Some random guest heard Obama say of Bush’s plates in the decor, I’m not really a plates kind of guy. It’s amazing that more...
“My children’s school was canceled today because of what? Some ice.”
– Barack Obama, making fun of how cowardly the DC area is about winter
Irony: "ShopNBC said an effort to sell itself...
The company had hired Piper Jaffray to help solicit bids. Four potential buyers showed interest, but none made final bids, ShopNBC said. It said executives decided that the best course was to keep running the company, cut costs and increase earnings. ShopNBC estimated sales in Q4 ending Saturday were $142 million, down 35 percent from a year earlier. It expects a quarterly loss of $39.6 million,...
me: Monday night's Senate approval of a DTV delay bill prompted protest from the National Association of Tower Erectors, which represents broadcast tower builders.
hahahahahah
fetzer: erect
me: erectors
fetzer: tower
me: haha
fetzer: i love that they have an association
i love interest groups
me: hahaha i know right
"This industry may have not been affected by the downturn in the economy, but now we're creating pressure on another part of the economy that didn't have it before."
yes the tower erector sector
fetzer: we need to bail them out
me: erector stimulus
ahahah
fetzer: yes!
“Al Franken’s got George Soros, he’s got MoveOn.org. I need just good...”
– Norm Coleman (American-MN), on his recount against Al Franken (Unamerican-MN)
Team of Rivals →
Rarely does Barack Obama miss a chance to draw parallels between himself and Abraham Lincoln, and rarely do the media fail to indulge him. The cabinent selection process was particularly ripe for comparision to Lincoln, as pundits turned frequently to Doris Kearns Goodwin’s concept of a Team of Rivals.
House GOP member to Rush: Back off →
Rush Limbaugh may command a large following, but his caustic comments Monday about the GOP’s congressional leadership have one of the House’s leading conservatives defending his colleagues and offering an unusually candid critique of the talk radio powerhouse and his fellow commentators.
Gates Warns Of Likely Cuts To Costly Weapons...
Congress Daily: “One thing we have known for many months is that the spigot of defense spending opened by 9/11 is closing,” Defense Secretary Robert Gates told the Senate Armed Services Committee. During his first of two hearings on Capitol Hill today, Gates signaled that he has little patience for cost increases and schedule delays that have plagued the military’s procurement...
“I never know where I’m going anymore.”
– President Obama leaving the Senate Republican policy luncheon when he went to get in an elevator and was redirected.
“Look, none of us in government today have high approval ratings because the...”
– Rod Blagojevich on polls showing he has a 7% approval rating
Matt: fucking crazy
i do not deal well with it
me: did you have to punch a bitch
Matt: no there is a lady that says she is on fire
that is seeking help from the boss
she is back in here
me: is she on fire?
Matt: no
she is in fact not
me: hahahaha
“If there was no Martin Luther King Jr. and no Roland Burris, there would be no...”
– Sen. Roland Burris, almost as awesome as the man who appointed him
What
54% support the economic stimulus plan 65% are confident it will be effective in turning around the economy
“His office was very different than the general decor of Merrill’s offices.”
– Merril Lynch CEO John Thain, on why he had to redecorate his office for $1.2 million after his predecessor left. “It would have been very difficult for me to use it in the form that it was in.”
“I think Obama wants me to fail.”
– Rush Limbaugh, getting it.
“This is like an old Frank Capra movie.”
– Rod Blagojevich, still talking. “Whether it’s Jimmy Stewart or Gary Cooper … I see myself that way.”
“What would Barack Obama do?”
– ND State Senator Mac Schneider, on why he didn’t check out Obama’s inaugural on a laptop when he was in committee. “He’d be working.”
It’s not just AIPAC: “In The Middle East Situation, Are Your Sympathies More With The Israelis Or The Palestinians?”
Israelis 60% Both 5 Palestinians 17 Neither 15
We are loved (at least, by comparison)
N. Pelosi 42 /36 H. Reid 34 /39 J. Boehner 22 /47 M. McConnell 27 /44 Cong. Dems ...
“They’re beginning to create their own journalism, their own description of...”
– Bill Kovach, the chairman of the Committee of Concerned Journalists, on President Obama’s Organizing for America. “It’s troublesome until we know how it’s going to be used.” (via muchjunk)
Melding Obama’s Web to a YouTube Presidency (NY Times): The administration’s Web team has a YouTube channel, but it is already exhibiting the dangers for a White House in the Wild West of the Internet: a page showing Mr. Obama’s inauguration address is littered with offensive commentary from users. (via muchjunk: “Uh oh, NYT, somebody better call the whambulance. womp.”)
“It is not right that Timothy Geithner should be elected into the IRS. What is...”
– A constituent, mad at Congress (via Matt)
Bill Kristol Already Leaving the New York Times →
His last column is, surprisingly, a good one: “All good things must come to an end. Jan. 20, 2009, marked the end of a conservative era. … Liberalism’s fate rests to an astonishing degree on [Obama’s] shoulders. If he governs successfully, we’re in a new political era. … Can Obama reshape liberalism to be, as it was under F.D.R., a fighting faith, unapologetically patriotic...
ITEM: “GAY American” [former NJ Gov] Jim McGreevey tried to pay a security guard to let him into the recent “Hanna Montana” concert at the Prudential Center in Newark, to no avail.
SIGHTINGS: ANDERSON Cooper deplaning the shuttle in DC and waiting patiently for an attractive Hispanic man who had sat in the back of the plane while Cooper sat in the front.